Not My Base

2009 proved to be a very spontaneous and adrenaline-packed year, and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. I thought this year would be more relaxed, and that I’d got it all planned out with no surprises. I couldn’t have been any more wrong, and I just can’t decide where I want it to go, especially considering the decisions I make over summer will decide the rest of my working life.

June: Annapurna Circuit, Nepal vs Summer Camp, Scotland

At face value, Nepal seems the easy winner, but in my situation, it’s not so simple. The Annapurna Circuit is a 23-day mountain trail which I discovered when a Canadian traveller I met in Japan showed me photos of his global adventure. I instantly set the trail as a life goal to complete before I die, perhaps on the way back from Japan, assuming I get the job and take it on. Then I made friends with some people at university who told me they were doing it this summer, I showed an interest and was invited. Obviously I’d rather go on the trek with a group of friends (all of whom I get on very well with) than to go by myself in a few years time. It would also probably be the last time I ever see friends from Manchester ever again, as I don’t have much intention of returning to Manchester once I graduate, and I doubt they do either. The situation on their side is there’s a couple going and two more girls. The guy doesn’t want to be the only guy going, while his girlfriend and two other girls also don’t want him to be the only guy going, so they’re pretty hopeful that I go.

The cost include: £450-£650 flight (They seem to have booked the most expensive option. They also seem to have chosen the worst possible time of year to go. Dusty dry season followed by monsoon half way), £2 per night accommodation, plus food and sight seeing in Kathmandu/India should I chose to hang around with the two girls after. The dates they have planned are May 25th to June 29th (landing in UK on 30th). One thing I mustn’t forget is costs of equipment, though specialist equipment isn’t really necessary.

On the other hand, Summer Camp might be the last thing I ever do with the military, and the last chance I ever have to enjoy time with friends from the OTC. There’s a slim chance the OTC will receive funding again by this time, hence I might get paid the usual ~£600 to attend. On the other hand, the OTC may get funding cut entirely, meaning summer camp wont happen, which makes my decision easy.. in the sense that it’s made up for me. Summer Camps tend to be hit and miss, and I’d say last years felt about average. It was very poorly planned, but we still flew around the south west in helicopters, went on the firing ranges (though with just LA85A2s, last year they had pistols and GPMGs and all sorts), and did some pretty fun exercises and learnt a lot of cool stuff. I came back with symptoms of Gulf War Syndrome which was a lingering reminder of how awesome the time was, and the ~£600 came in handy for Japan. This year, will it be better planned? Will we have more weapons to try out on the ranges? It’s in Scotland, will the weather be crap? Will we get paid? What more can it have to offer? I’ve pretty much done everything the army can offer without me joining a TA or regular unit.

Cost: nothing, except 2 weeks in mid-June.

July: Commence 2 years in Japan vs .. well, it all gets a bit messy

I’ve had the interview for a job assisting in teaching English in Japan, probably for two years, as that’s what most people seem to do. In April I find out if I was successful, in May I find out which lonely, isolated fishing village I’m stationed in. The Japanese government will pay for the flights and visa, and I’ll be paid approx. £20k/yr with silly amounts of holiday time.

My larger life-goal has always been to be a pilot in the military, the most probable option now being in the Army Air Corps given the bulk of my military training has been with the OTC (sort of part of the army). Since Iraq and Afghanistan went tits up, I’ve been putting it off, waiting for a more justifiable war to come our way before I go around, simply put, killing people, or aiding in the art of. Besides this prospect, the military offers everything I could possibly ask for from life, the training, the social, the adventure and the qualifications I can pick up to resume an adventurous lifestyle outside of the military. After putting it off for all this time, I suddenly feel a sense of urgency. The AAC accepts pilots up to 29 yrs old, so I still have seven years on that front. The real issue is that right now I’m probably in my prime. Sure I can get fitter, but this doesn’t stop the issue of eyesight getting worse with age. My optician told me I have the most perfect eyesight he’s ever come across, and that I’ll never need glasses, but I know of people who have been told the same thing by their opticians who now rely on lenses. The other reason to do it now is the AAC only recruits from the top quarter of Sandhurst graduates. To be fair, I’ve just been tagging along for the ride, and not taken the training as seriously as other people in the OTC. In the time away from the country and out of training, I’ll have probably forgotten everything I’ve learnt, putting me at a massive disadvantage.

So I chose between joining now, meaning high probability of being sent to Afghanistan and having to put off Japan for a few years (or maybe lose interest in Japan by then), or go to Japan, hope my eyesight’s still perfect (or the army’s stopped caring about eyesight), and then be sent to what will probably be an unjustified war in Iran, just as it’s kicking off and when most of the dirty work is done. I’d much rather Ireland or Argentina kicked off again, at least we’d be the defenders and my work would be more justified, or perhaps another biblical great flood, meaning my skills would be used to rescue people.. .

I’m in the process of booking a medical and aptitude test with the AAC, I might find out early that I don’t have what it takes. If I do pass, I can get half the application done (as far as the briefing) before leaving the country, meaning less time delay when I get back. I might not get a placement in Japan. As long as both plans don’t fall through, I’ll have a decision made for me, but if I got accepted for both, I’d honestly have a hard time deciding which route to follow.

On top of this, I have an old school friend going inter-railing with some of his uni mates, and he’s invited me to tag along, at least for the eastern bloc portion of the trip. He’s been planning this every summer since college, invited me every time and not gone through with it apparently because of me going off and doing something else. I’ve told him I’m not making any promises this year, but I’ll keep the dates free if I’m not already shipped to Japan by this point and see how the money is. I’d really like to see eastern Europe, and chances are this is the last time, for the next few years of my life, I’ll have enough consecutive free time to do such a thing.

There’s also a trip to Mt Blanc in July with the university hiking club. This will be requiring specialist equipment, and take up ten days. Following this, there’s the OTC’s annual trip to Bavaria in August. If I attend this, it’ll make summer camp no longer the last thing I do with the OTC, and hence more miss-able. If I make it to Bavaria, this means I won’t have made it to Japan; Bavaria will be the last thing I do with the OTC before heading towards the AAC.

But then besides Japan and the army, what about my other life goals. I have several commercial website ideas I want to pioneer. The job in Japan would probably give me time to make a good stab at it, while I’d have no time to do it in the army. I’d have to wait until I’m back on civy street, by which point someone will probably have come up with my idea and beaten me to making a (unlikely) fortune from it.

TL;DR: So here I am at this junction, with roads going off in every direction, and I need to decide my destination between the lights turn green. Some of the roads are linked while others go off in totally different directions with no U-turns. The next two months of decision making will probably be the toughest ever. I wonder which decision I’d least regret, but each case has too many pros and cons to consider seriously. To have an application fail, while deflating ego, would also be an welcome pointer in the opposite direction.

There are two envisioned futures about man’s relationship with machine. A common sci-fi theme popular with Hollywood is that one day titanium robots will have AI, bullet proof alloys and mechanics capable of overriding their Human masters and enslave the entire carbon-based population. This has never scared me because as a technoliterate, I understand that robots cant do what they aren’t programmed to do. The other more likely and thought about dilemma is that putting computers in control of vacuum cleaners and fighter jets and anything in between will make humans redundant and jobless and ruin the entire global economy and mankind will ironically be returned to the stone age. Again, as a technoliterate, this idea has never particularly bothered me either, the more computers there are in the world, the more job openings there are for my kind. Last week however, I realised the despair of the robot future.

Coming home from London Euston, I realised the train was running late, and that I was going to miss my connection at Warrington. This meant I wasn’t going to be in Manchester in time for the meal with friends, and I had a feeling that my due connection was the last train of the night. As the train finally arrived in Warrington, the driver announced apologetically that we were late because of vandals throwing stones at the trains further up the line, which didn’t make me feel any better about the delay, but at the same time, not much worse about it either. As I hopped off and wandered the platform in the rain, a tannoy announced that it was sorry for the inconvenience, this is when I got angry:

You what? You’re a robot, how could you possibly understand the concept of inconvenience, let alone feel sympathy or regret for it? Do you honestly expect me to believe that you’ve turned all sentient and capable of emotion and its (dis)comforts? I’m glad I’m only thinking this, because I refuse to yell at an inanimate object. I don’t know if anyone can tell, but right now I’m silently raging at the fact that Network Rail had to employ a computer to absorb all their shame. Right now they’re probably fast asleep in bed, when they should be the ones getting yelled at!

This (with a swearword inserted at every other syllable and mostly thought up in uppercase) is the moment I realised why I don’t want robots taking our jobs. Because you can’t yell at robots. I actually prefer the Hollywood robot future, where robots become sentient and take over the world, because at least they can genuinely apologise for what they’ve done. If our future to be built by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation then I’m not interested.

I’m reminded now of an idea for a comic book a friend came up with back in college. What we need is a computer to be in charge of the world, and the computer is to be powered by happiness of the people, and itself feel happy to not be shut down.