Day 1: I have no trousers! quick sprint to the shops before meeting the gang at South Mimms. 75% off a £100 pair somehow makes £33, but still, not bad!
Rob just piped himself onto the boat. what a f’ing sailor.
Day 2: 0030hrs, just woken up in Paris, and wow, its that factory which always looks strangely beautiful in the night light.. feeling so nostalgic, the lights, billboards, Renaults and Peugeots zipping by at the speed of sound.. It’s been a while since i last came here..
0100 to 0600 hrs, constantly woken up by driver slamming on the breaks at toll booths on the motorway and traffic lights in Lyon. Hey, my uncle works here!
0800 hrs, woken up to snow snow snow, we have chains right? Hey, that ski runs a black right? it seems awful steep, not sure I want to do this ski stuff any more…
1600 hrs, First lesson: Whenever I brake I seem to veer off to one side, this isn’t promising..
Day 3: Snowed 20cm, any trace of last nights snowball fight gone. Button lifts. Quick refresher then and afternoon in the green runs. Is this what you call ice? It seems terribly steep. Permission to cack myself sir.
Day 4: back on yesterdays green runs. Ice with no powder seems even worse. We try a blue run. Suddenly the steep ice at the end of the green seems like nothing. This book I’m reading says that ski slopes are a good place to pick up girls. Apparently the symptoms of fear can fool a person into thinking they’re falling in love.
Day 5: Taken the morning off, I can’t get my ski boots changed until midday. Sigh. Pool with Falicia before she steals my bed, guess I’m taking a nap in the dining room. Taking the lift on the left eh? This goes on for miles. Miles… more miles. Mega steepness eh. C-Party. Go out to find every ATM in the town is still out of order. This probably saved me a lot of money, but how does this town not get bankrupt with no money? Staying in at the bar, birthday girl wants to dance with us.. uhh.
Day 6: Moar ski. Mt Blanc run. Again for good measure. Paid €11.80 for Powerade and plate of chips. Night time: Aquatic phys, rock climbing and ridiculous changing room system. Herrero deliberately slips over in the ice and smacks Nigora in the face, KAPOW, blinding her for a whole 30 mins. Come home to chicken n chips. Best chicken ever.
Day 7: MT Blanc plus more. Rave night, shove these flashing white and red torches under this wig: I am the Disco Police!Epic pickup fail, sometimes I don’t get girls…
Day 8: Final ski day. Went up en mass, beginners and pros in same group. Found ourselves on a red slope, which didn’t seem all that tough. Half pipe through the woods was awesome. Descended into Val D’Isere, not a single celebrity spotted, but can has BSP now :D. Afternoon plans foiled by a blizzard. Come on lads, we can do this.. no? aww…
Stayed in for the night, pool(-table) side disco! That “Coke” rly caught up with me…
Day 9: Adj doesn’t seem to understand there’s 3 stops but only 2 sides to the coach. Chee vs Becky in chair war.. lol. Screenwash frozen. Rob, are you piping yourself on again? Stranded in Folkstone? Nope? OK good.